Doing The Twist

I finally remembered last night to put a pen and notebook by my bed, so that I could write down fresh accounts of my dreams, to share at this here blog.

As I laid in bed, I again experienced a sensation I've had thousands of times since I was a young child: my arms felt like they were twisting clockwise into a counterclockwise whirlpool.

It's never an unplesant sensation. In fact, often after it happens, I try to reposition my arms so that it might happen again. Occasionally I can trigger a repeat, although rarely does the repeat happen with the same intensity. Something about the unexpectedness of the first one must be part of what makes it so intense.

I wish I knew the source of this recurring sensation. A forgotten experience during infancy or childbirth? An experience that other people have? A past dream that was so pleasurable, I keep subconsciously willing myself to repeat it? I may never know, but it's interesting to speculate.

Sing!

Today's earworm: "The Nonsense Song" - Charlie Chaplin

From Chaplin's classic 1936 film Modern Times, the song was the first time Charlie's voice was heard on screen. I checked out the DVD (which also features the adorable Paulette Goddard) from the library the other day, and watched the movie a couple times.

My son Andrew, who turns eight next month, noticed the similarity between the goofy Italian/French hybrid that Chaplin used for his famous song, and Andrew's own made-up language, called "Toi" (pronounced "Twah"). Great minds thinking alike, says the dad.

Meat Market

With talent on loan from God, and with half his brain tied behind his back just to make it fair, here again is Chester Magpie, underground pundit:

"Democracy is just another product at Wal-Mart now. And it's one that isn't doing very well saleswise, so they're in the process of taking it off the market. A last-minute 'Save Star Trek' campaign might save it, but I don't see no Spock ears on Dick Cheney's head.

Presuming the corporations care about us at all, they think they're simply giving us what we want: a strange brew of Darwinism and Disneyland. And as we march like zombies into the post-ozone era, who's to say they aren't pretty much right?

If Juan Matus didn't say it, maybe he should've: consciousness is nothing compared to the electric meat that constantly flies through space. Be one with the electric meat, for it is the only thing that lasts."

Right Here

Here are the winners of 75 of the Death Match brackets, the most popular songs of the online "Music Death Match" competitions at Peoples Forum, World Crossing and Table Talk from 2000-03:

September Gurls - Big Star (Boys & Girls)
Okie From Muskogee - Merle Haggard (U.S. Cities)
Wooly Bully - Sam The Sham & The Pharoahs (Billboard #1 Hits)
Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Judy Garland (Soundtrack songs)
7 & 7 Is - Love (Nuggets)
Midnight Train To Georgia - Gladys Knight and The Pips ('70s AM Radio)
Virginia Plain - Roxy Music (Roxy Music)
Low Rider - War (Moving Objects; Tournament of Champions I)
Leave My Kitten Alone - Little Willie John (Cat songs)
If You Want Me To Stay - Sly and The Family Stone (Sly Stone)
Raspberry Beret - Prince and The Revolution (Prince)
Pressure Drop - Toots and The Maytals (Reggae)
Tramp - Otis and Carla (Duets)
Get Up Offa That Thing - James Brown (James Brown)
Lumberjack Song - Monty Python (Python)
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) - Eurythmics ('80s Hits)
(Get Your Kicks On) Route 66 - Nat King Cole (Nat King Cole)
Personality Crisis - New York Dolls (Glam Rock)
God Bows To Math - Minutemen (Minutemen song titles)Move It On Over - Hank Williams Sr. (Dog songs)
A Hard Day's Night - The Beatles (Beatles)
NIB - Black Sabbath (Black Sabbath)
Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye (Makeout songs)
96 Tears - ? and The Mysterians (Oldies)
He Stopped Loving Her Today - George Jones (George Jones)
Electric Avenue - Eddy Grant (Electricity)
Pale Blue Eyes - Velvet Underground (Velvets)
Papa Was A Rolling Stone - The Temptations (Motown)
Conjunction Junction - Jack Sheldon (Schoolhouse Rock)
Ring Of Fire - Johnny Cash (Cash Memorial)
Play It All Night Long - Warren Zevon (Zevon Memorial)
Right Here - Go-Betweens (Go-Betweens)
I Wish - Stevie Wonder (Stevie Wonder)
James Bond Theme - Monty Norman Orchestra (James Bond movies)
Green Onions - Booker T and The MGs (Stax/Volt)
What Do I Get - Buzzcocks (Manchester 1977-1990)
I Want You Back - Jackson 5 (Jackson family)
Dreaming - Blondie (Blondie)
Human Fly - The Cramps (Halloween)
London Calling - The Clash (Joe Strummer Memorial; Clash)
Radio Free Europe - REM (Radio)
Going Down To Liverpool - The Bangles (1980s Jangly-Guitar Poppy)
Pusherman - Curtis Mayfield (Drugs)
Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley (Elvis P.)
Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival (War)
Pump Up The Volume - M/A/R/R/S (Late '80s/Early '90s British "Alternative Dance")
Meow Mix commercial- Patti Austin (Jingle smackdown)
Great Balls Of Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis (Great White Memorial: Songs About Fire)
Scenario - A Tribe Called Quest (Hip Hop)
The Luckiest Guy On The Lower East Side - Magnetic Fields ('90s albums)
Ca Plane Pour Moi - Plastic Bertrand (Inspired Nonsense)
I Can't Explain - The Who (Beatles, Who, Stones, Kinks)
Wouldn't It Be Nice - The Beach Boys (Interrogative song titles; Tournament of Champions II)
Money (That's What I Want) - Barrett Strong (Moolah)Paid In Full - Eric B and Rakim (All About The Benjamins)
In Walked Bud - Thelonious Monk (Songs About Other Musicians)
Sheena Is A Punk Rocker - Ramones (Ramones)
Once In A Lifetime - Talking Heads (Heads)
Be My Baby - The Ronettes (Girl Groups)
A Hard Day's Night - The Beatles (Beatles)
Back In The USA - Chuck Berry (USA Songs)
Rockin' In The Free World - Neil Young (Soul, Rock, Rap and Jazz)
New Amsterdam - Elvis Costello and The Attractions (Elvis C.)
Use Me - Bill Withers (Soul Classics)
Celebrated Summer - Hüsker Dü (Hüskers)
Sympathy For The Devil - The Rolling Stones (Stones)
The Red and The Black - Blue Oyster Cult (BOC)
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana (Assorted Hits)
Positively 4th Street - Bob Dylan (Dylan)
Flashlight - Parliament (Deepest Funk)
You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Thurl Ravenscroft (Xmas)
I've Got You Under My Skin - Frank Sinatra (Cole Porter songs)
Mr. Wendal - Arrested Development ('90s Hits)
U2 - Negativland (Comedy)
16 Shells From A Thirty-Ought Six - Tom Waits (Guns)

From December 2001 to September 2003 I created eight volumes of "Death Match Hall of Fame" tapes, and over time am sending them out to various regular Death Match voters. I also hope to create a set of CDs of the eight volumes, and/or a 5-CD set featuring the above list of bracket champions.

Man Smart, Woman Smarter

A couple more answers to questions I answered while taking Rob Brezsny's "Free Will Astrology" personality test:

Question 7 (June 14, 1999)

Name something you've done to undo, subvert or neutralize the Battle of the Sexes.

All I can tell you is what I've tried to do. The jury's out on whether I've ever succeeded. I've always tried to avoid the predator mentality with women, yet lust and whimsy and desperation have more than once made me too pushy. I married a woman whose passion and sense of humor I love, yet we argue too damn much.

I respect women, and I don't believe there's anything a man can achieve in society that a woman can't. If anything, I hope I've communicated that I am not a male chauvinist.

Here are two dispatches from the battlefield that have stuck with me:

"We make her paint her face and dance." - John Lennon

"We hate them. They hate us. They're smarter. They're stronger." - Jack Nicholson

Question 13 (March 14, 1999)

Describe the cirumstances in which you were most dangerously alive.

There was a time, from roughly December 1983 to September 1985, that fit the description "dangerously alive" better than any I can recall. In that period, I was aged 21 through 23. I co-produced a 10-song music cassette, writing and singing half the songs on it. It was done on the cheap, and with myself often homeless and relying on plasma center money, yet even now it sounds quite polished, considering the circumstances. Also in that period, I dropped out of college, lost my virginity, hitchhiked from Portland to San Francisco and back again, smoked a lot of pot, took the est training and related seminars, wrote lots of songs, grew increasingly alienated from my parents, had a nervous breakdown, performerd live on stage, sometimes slept in homeless shelters, city parks or friends' cars; and has musician friends who alternately brilliant and hysterically funny, or tactless and dangerously flaky.

Curses!

For Chicago Cubs fans like myself, it's the trifecta from hell: 1969, 1984...and now 2003. These are the three seasons in which the North Siders rewrote the book on snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. With last night's loss to the Florida Marlins in Game 7 of the NLCS, after being up 3-1 in the series, the Cubs extended their streak of pennant-less seasons to 58, by far the largest in the majors. Charlie Brown couldn't have practiced the art of losing any better...and good ol' Chuck debuted five years after the Cubs' last NL pennant, which was also when the infamous "Curse of The Goat" was supposedly placed on the team.

The post-mortem of the series will place a lot of blame on poor Steve Bartman, the fan at Chicago's Wrigley Field who caught a Marlins foul ball in the eighth inning of Game 6 -- one that was clearly playable by the Cubs' Moises Alou, who with the second out of the inning would've greatly helped Chicago hold off a Florida rally. But there's plenty of blame to go around in Wrigleyville: Alex Gonzalez for making a key error later in the inning; Dusty Baker for overworking his ace pitchers Mark Prior and Kerry Wood; the Cub bullpen (and Sammy Sosa) for not coming through in the clutch during the last two games. One could argue that a better team wouldn't have been as unnerved by Alou's missed opportunity; but then, most other teams don't have to deal with the pressure of having missed winning the Big One for so long.

Bartman, who had to be escorted from Wrigley by stadium security after the incident, said in a public statement that he was focused only on the ball and didn't see Moises Alou coming. I've no reason to doubt the guy -- and who knows what any of us would've done in a similar situation? -- but with the ball heading that close to the edge of the field, wouldn't a baseball coach and Cub fan like Bartman figure that the ball might be playable? Not excusing the other Cub mistakes, or in any way hoping that Bartman suffers more than he already has, but one just has to shake their head at the cosmic absurdity of it all.

Bartman's age was given as 26, which interestingly was my age the only time I saw a baseball game at Wrigley, in 1988. Beautiful June day, seat right behind home plate in the upper deck, Harry Caray singing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame", Don Zimmer managing the Cubs...and the fact that Chicago ended up losing the game (to the Pittsburgh Pirates) seemed fitting somehow.

Leave Your Hat On

Issue #2 of the new netzine The High Hat is here, featuring two articles by yours truly. In the words of one online reviewer, "The High Hat is better than sex and almost as good as Corpsevomit."

Also, to enhance my blog's access to the feminine voice, here are three excellent bloggers for your perusal: Body and Soul (Jeanne d'Arc), Designated Driver (Phyl Good), and What The Hell Am I Doing Here? (Maggie Osterberg).

Groping Towards Sacramento

The incomparable TBogg, one of the sane residents of "Kullyvorneeya", sums up his state's political clusterflop:

I think a starstruck and fairly uninformed electorate is going to recall Davis and elect Arnold Schwarzenegger today. If this election were to be held next week or the week after, Schwarzenegger would probably lose and would be finished in politics forever. But the hits and revelations came too late, there are too many absentee ballots that already in, and Bustamante ran a boring and uninspired campaign (possibly because he dealt with the issues, poor dumb bastard).

For what it's worth, Schwarzenegger hasn't even been elected yet and he's already damaged goods. The recent revelations along with the ones yet to come should keep him dancing for awhile. In the meantime, the Democrats control every major office in the state as well as the Assembly and the State Senate. Don't expect them to lend Arnold a helping hand unless it's in their best interest. Snappy catch phrases from action movies will only take you so far.

Rob Reiner's been making noises about running for governor as a Democrat, so it's possible we will see a Reiner/Schwarzenegger race in '06. And then what? Tom Hanks vs. Bruce Willis? Harrison Ford vs. Dennis Miller?

The spectre of "actor turned politician" Ronald Reagan will haunt the Golden State for a long time.

The Other Gregs

It's funny, the things you find when surfing the web. Without the Internet, I might've never known that the morning DJ on Z100 in New York calls himself Greg T, and that there's a famous Christian rock musician with the same "Christian name" as me: Greg Hough.

DJ Greg T and I both like chocolate chip cookies and both apparently resemble Charlie Brown. And I was a DJ myself, back in the '70s and '80s, albeit in positions far below the status of NYC morning drive. But when GT says his fave website is nascar.com, that's definitely where the two of us differ.

As a lifelong agnostic, I also differ with Mr. Hough, who found Jesus in the early '70s before helping form the seminal Xtian rock band PETRA. But if the pic on his latest band's website is an indicator, we've both got glasses and a beard. And I too am a singer & songwriter, although I've never secured a recording contract.

I suppose both Greg and I are familiar with hearing our surname frequently mispronounced. For the record, ladies and gentlemen, my last name is pronounced "Huff".