Tomb Town

He is risen. Please welcome back our resident guest columnist, Chester Magpie, underground pundit:

"Ho hum. Walt Buick is being fed the 'glass planet' nuke trip as part of his media intake. Certainly this will help bolster his '20 million brown people want to kill us' position. Of course it'll be you and me who'll take the terrorist revenge straight in the face and not him. Oh he might have to put off his Costco shopping for a couple of weeks while they bulldoze the dead into pits, but no biggie.

God fucking bless the American resolve to consume in the face of almost anything. I'm sure Jennifer Aniston will be shocked for the politically correct few days but will right back in the hunt for tits-and-ass supremacy in no time. I feel like a sitting duck while rural communities rejoice that the fucking tomb was empty and their big boy Jesus is busy leading the charge on the front lines of the terror war, as well as saving all our sorry asses when this place explodes into matchsticks. Too bad the Islamic universe is in with Judas and the like.

And thank God, the only God, that Nancy Reagan got that 'evil drugs' thing going, now that our beloved American Idol generation walks around NW Portland like Paris Hilton hos and Justin Timberlake urban jocks -- but God forbid they ever question their subconscious. Like the folks down at the lake, they will simply cling to empty hopes as the Bush team leaves them to defend for themselves. I'm sure prostitution and gang banging will become an option for them when the lights only work six-to-eight hours a day."